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About Deviant Cookiez21/Female/United States Groups :iconlordshenfanbase: LordShenFanBase
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In just mere hours, Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. I don't want to be scared. I'm willing to give him a chance. But I genuinely feel a little afraid of what's going to happen once he takes the mantle. I know he won't have all the power (he's neither a king nor a god), but fingers crossed that things won't go to complete shit.  

In other news, I'm starting my Spring semester this coming Monday. Back to school draining my energy and motivation...  -_- 
Home alone, so I'll catch up with the last two recordings of Sherlock Season 4. 😁
Yesterday, my parents went out shopping together and were actually talking to each other. I saw my dad embrace my mother a couple times. They don't look so sad or angry anymore. I was confused and worried at the same time, and when I asked my dad how he and my mom were he said, "We're working things out." 

The two of them even sat down on the living room couch together and watched a movie, though my mom fell asleep after a while. My dad let her lean against him like she usually does when she conks out. 

Later that night I heard my mom crying and took a quick peek to see what was going on. I saw my dad holding her in his arms, comforting her. I quickly left to go about my business and felt pretty assured that they were working things out.

Now, as of tonight, they are talking, laughing, and even kissing each other. There hasn't been any shouting or crying. Hell, I think Dad moved out of the guest room and is back in the master bedroom with Mom. One part of me is wondering what the hell is going on; another is a bit worried that things will blow up again; and another feels pretty relieved. 

Fingers crossed that things continue to be like this, that stability remains in my family. 
UPDATE: Things have quieted down. My dad and I got the chance to order my schoolbooks, which went well. He and my mom argued for a bit but then it became less fucking horrible. I don't know what's going to happen from here, but I can assure you, my friends, that I am fine for the most part. I'm scared and upset by what's been happening, but physically I am fine.

Thank you you for listening to my real life problems, even though I don't have to share them with you.  :hug: 
Everything has gone to shit. My mother is just angry and resentful that she's not willing to listen to my father civilly or rationally anymore. Hell, they won't listen to each other anymore.

I left my house for a bit to get away from the negative energy and sadness. If course, my mom thought it was my dad who hurt my feelings. No! It's all of this shit! It's the both of them! I've just got done bawling my goddamn eyes out, but once I got home everything once again blew up. I stepped out of the house again for a bit, doing nothing but crying. My mom wants my dad out of the house, and he has little to support himself. She thinks he's the most horrible person in the world, when in sing I can't contrast he was a better husband than what my birth father was. That man who gave life to me and my siblings beat my mom and threw shit at her - even while she was pregnant with me and my twin sis. She even had him arrested, and it was after that they divorced.

I am absolutely done with all of this. There is nothing I can do to fix it, but my parents are unwilling to fix it themselves. I don't want to be here right now. I want to talk to my brother since he's the only sibling who's close in proximity and open to talking. My twin sister doesn't understand my feelings. My older sisters have gone and only give a shit about themselves and mooching money from my parents. My grandma is a liar and has played favorites. My aunt and uncle and cousins have never given a crap about us. It seems I have no one to talk to. I mean, I'd talk to you ladies and jellybeans, but doing so through text is not the same as venting out what I feel through my voice. As much as I appreciate your support and friendship.

I feel utterly hopeless. I really should not feel this way, especially a week before the spring semester starts. I was planning on getting my textbooks with my dad's help - and he was willing - but now it seems that he's about to leave the house and everything will be handled by my mother. Believe me or not, but I am disabled in the ways that I am not very social (I keep to myself), I have no job, I do not drive, and my mother insists that I do not worry about financials. Her job, she says, is to be my mother, and you have no idea how strong and tough she is. But . . . what about my dad?

There's nothing I can do from here, my friends. I wish things could go back to the way they used to, but that's fantasy talk. Reality hits you and makes you feel like shit. But that's life, I suppose. It's shit.


Grievous-fangirl's Profile Picture
United States
I'm just a girl who wants to live life and love the things she loves, and there are many. <3

  • Listening to: How Far I'll Go from "Moana"
  • Reading: The Sisters of Versailles (almost finished!)
  • Watching: YouTube
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Chocolate chip cookies
  • Drinking: Water
So, my officially in love with Tumblr to the point that I'm near obsessed with it. Of course, I wasn't on it much yesterday or today because I was more hooked on Skyrim. LOL 

Anyway, I love but also blame Tumblr for making me come across some gifs of an anime adapted from a manga called The Ancient Magus' Bride. While I'm not a diehard anime fan, it's one of the best forms of animation out there, and there are certain stories that I enjoy. Studio Ghibili is, obviously, fucking amazing, even though I haven't seen every movie they've dished out. I grew up watching bits of Pokémon, but nowadays, I don't really give a crap about it. I mean, good Lord, 10+ seasons and - what? - 19 movies and counting (the first movie is my childhood, though)?! No offense to you Pokémon fans, but fuck that shit! Leave me out of it! :lmao: 

And don't get me started with Girls Bravo. Someone - you know who you are - brought it up to me and I ended up being so curious that I watched the entire fucking series! It was weirdly amusing during and after I saw it, but now it's one of my small regrets in life. Bittersweet memories. *embarassed facepalm* 

Then there are the movies Arashi no Yoru Ni ("One Stormy Night") and Wolf Children, which are lovely and cute. :aww:

And recently, during 2016, I started watching Rosario + Vampire because I was curious as well. It's a silly fan-service anime like GB, but it's also pretty cute. But I just strayed away from it after a while. I don't know why. After that, I thought to watch Inuyasha since I also saw a bit of that growing up. I got, like, 30 or so episodes in until I stopped. I do want to continue, though. I also watched Wolf's Rain and Romeo X Juliet. The latter is quite an interesting take on the classic Shakespeare play. 

Anyway, to my point. It's thanks to Tumblr that I got curious about The Ancient Magus' Bride. It was mainly the way it looked and especially - especially - the character Elias Ainsworth. I watched the first out of three episodes just a few minutes ago, and the next episode won't be released until around March. I have been rendered wanting more. Goddamn my appeal to mature-looking anime shit! xD 

So, for anyone who's interested, here's the trailer for the anime. The first episode is also up on YouTube. The moment that got me curious is at around 0:38-0:40:…


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Vesperte Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  New Deviant
Thanks for the fav. It's really appreciate.!
TheScarletMercenary Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016  Student Filmographer
Hi :)
Vulcahnus Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2016  Student General Artist
Thank you for the favorite!
Grievous-fangirl Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2016
You deserve it. Your painting of Grievous is awesome.  :D 
Vulcahnus Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2016  Student General Artist
Thanks so much, I worked really hard on it uwu
Grievous-fangirl Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2016
I've no doubt of that. Keep up the good work, fellow Grievous fan.  ^^
RavenHimitsu Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Hey! You definitely need to see this:…
Grievous-fangirl Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2016
Saw it and commented! It looks great! 
DayDreamPrincess Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Posted a video a day ago, check it out >…
Grievous-fangirl Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2016
Cute cat.  :aww:
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